by Robin Goldstein, EdD

There are many aspects to this dilemma of divorce. Cultural expectations still tend to favor mothers in custody matters leaving many men without the time they want with their children. That can make it difficult for a man to remain as involved with his children as he wishes to be. While it is difficult to be a single mother there may be even less support for single fathers. Men may also have more limited networks to help with child care.

A common pitfall for men is to begin dating too soon to try to find a caretaker for the children. This can lead to hasty liaisons which are in no one’s best interest. Men who sincerely try to take care of their children may be unappreciated or even denigrated for making their children their priority because once again this may confound society’s expectations.

Being a modern father is a challenge and divorce can make it more difficult. Children fare best in divorces where successful healing occurs and animosity is contained. Separating partners can help themselves by focusing on and remembering the vulnerability of their children.